Thursday, November 13, 2008

Alcohol and Cotton Balls

A story for whoever wants to read it:

Julian Ford sat back on a low hill overlooking almost all of North Carolina. Because although it was a hill, it was seated atop a mountain. The hill was grassy and soft. He looked at the state and then looked down at a bottle of scotch he had brought to drink. Because he was there and there was no one else around to drink it with, he drank it alone. When he was done drinking it he looked around him and still saw no one. So he fell asleep.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Love, Love, Love

I have decided that I have been writing too negatively lately. Things I wouldn't even post on here because as for right now there is no need for negativity. Don't we all love at least something? Lets end the hate..

Here are some things I love:

Food: I love food!

Warmth: I love warmth!

Sleep: I love sleeping!

Movies: I love movies!

Memoirs: I love funny memoirs!

Smart people: I love smart people!

Puppies: Puppies! Woof!

Massages: Mmm Massages!

Short Blog Posts?

Don't worry I am working on a good one..

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Atheism 101

Hi fundamental Christians!! I'm so glad you found my blog! I'm what you would call an atheist. In case your pastor hasn't yet told you what that is, let me explain.

Atheists believe in God, they just hate him because they are liberal and worship Satan.

Atheists have pretty much no morals and enjoy raping and killing people & animals.

Atheists like to worship Charles Darwin as their God. They think evolution is the solution to everything.

The only thing that makes people atheists is evolution. If it weren't for evolution, we would believe in a fairytale God.

Atheists love Satan a lot and do his bidding.

Atheists really just want to be converted and then they want to tithe extra to the church to make up for lost time.

Atheist are possessed by demons.

Atheists are indoctrinated with false information at secular universities run by Marxists.

Atheists are communists and love Hitler and Stalin.

Atheists think that people are monkeys. We also think that monkeys are only a few generations removed from fish on the evolutionary scale.

That's pretty much it.

Thanks for stopping by!

Saturday, November 8, 2008


Step 1: blog about nothing
Step 2: Add advertising to blog
Step 3: ??????
Step 4: Profit!!!

Whaa?? a blog?

Hey everyone,

If anyone cares, I am sorry I haven't updated as much this week . It seems that I started blogging just as my life was sinking into a heavy handed and deep-seated unhappiness/depression. It wasn't on purpose. I do seem to have lost all passion for life as of late.

I am a terrible boyfriend. My loving girlfriend is constantly upset with me and my apathetic ways and I can't really blame her. I'd be upset with me too. I always cancel on her or leave unexpectedly just to go home and mope.

I am a bad student. I haven't done a piece of math homework in weeks and last week I left my book in class. I only halfway finish most of my projects.

I am a bad blogger. You'd think with all the nothing I get done I'd at least be on here blogging about my own lack of results. But I'm not. I just lie in bed watching the time pass.

I'm a bad human. I don't donate to charitable causes, I don't help people out really. Sometimes I volunteer as a tutor but I don't always show up.

The thing is; none of this stuff bothers me. I mean, it does to a certain extent but I mostly just laugh it off. It is all one big joke for me. I mosey along through life wondering if everyone is serious. I feel like one day at some climactic moment everyone will let out a "just kidding" and show me that things weren't how I perceived them. But until then I am stuck wondering if this can truly be reality. If so, I am baffled. Is that unhealthy? I am completely lost. But me and Obama have one thing in common: hope. The only thing that gives me hope is that maybe I am not alone. Sometimes I come across someone who sees the ridiculousness of it all. And then I feel reenergized.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Happiness & Me

I am at a loss for words. Here is the thing; I don't want to be depressed. I'm not a wallower. And yet I tried, I tried so fucking hard to buy-in. To everything. But it's a lot of work. And me, I'm just not cut out for work. I like to sit around and think. But thinking does not bring success. And success brings happiness. So it's no wonder the great thinkers of the world were so unhappy.

Am I one of the great thinkers of the world? A lot of the time I think: Yes. I am. And I say Fuck being humble. I may be unhappy but I know where my strengths lie. It seems 98% of the people I meet are dumber than me. Most have no excuse. Books; they were made to be read.

This post was edited because I felt it could be written better, I like to go back and change things

Sunday, November 2, 2008

It's Official: You Can't Win

But most people already know that. The only consolation in this forsaken world is that you can watch some people eat shit harder than you do.

Case in point: Halloween night. Random note: I always preferred when it was misspelled Holloween, its a nicer looking spelling End random note. So me and some friends were sitting around for hours (literally hours) trying to think of something to do. Oh by the way:

I hate halloween. I haven't always hated halloween, when I was a kid I loved it. But slowly, over the years it has lost all of its appeal. That started in middle school. Usually, people gradute from trick or treating to tricking. But I was never into the shenanigans middle-schoolers liked to pull. I was never an egger or TP'er so I couldn't enjoy halloween as much as everyone else.

Third digression: that's actually been the story of my life. I am always the one who enjoys things less than the people around me. It doesn't matter what it is or how fun it is. With the exception of movies (I enjoy those more than anyone whether they be bad or not), I enjoy life less than those around me. I always feel a slight disconnect from the situation that I feel they don't. I am like Bernard Marx in the Brave New World, the only unsatisfied one in world of satisfied, happy people.

So Halloween. We decided that the only worthwhile thing to do was go to Chipotle and get the free burrito. I insisted on paying because I didn't want to support halloween. We ran into my best friend's love interest who proceded to shoot him down in the worst way (see: other people's misery being the only consolation for your own). I mean she took him to town. Not in an open way, it was unbelievably subtle, but that just made it worse. Then having had my spirits lifted, I agreed to don the tin foil hat for a free burrito. My friend got drunk and I drove him home.