Saturday, November 8, 2008

Whaa?? a blog?

Hey everyone,

If anyone cares, I am sorry I haven't updated as much this week . It seems that I started blogging just as my life was sinking into a heavy handed and deep-seated unhappiness/depression. It wasn't on purpose. I do seem to have lost all passion for life as of late.

I am a terrible boyfriend. My loving girlfriend is constantly upset with me and my apathetic ways and I can't really blame her. I'd be upset with me too. I always cancel on her or leave unexpectedly just to go home and mope.

I am a bad student. I haven't done a piece of math homework in weeks and last week I left my book in class. I only halfway finish most of my projects.

I am a bad blogger. You'd think with all the nothing I get done I'd at least be on here blogging about my own lack of results. But I'm not. I just lie in bed watching the time pass.

I'm a bad human. I don't donate to charitable causes, I don't help people out really. Sometimes I volunteer as a tutor but I don't always show up.

The thing is; none of this stuff bothers me. I mean, it does to a certain extent but I mostly just laugh it off. It is all one big joke for me. I mosey along through life wondering if everyone is serious. I feel like one day at some climactic moment everyone will let out a "just kidding" and show me that things weren't how I perceived them. But until then I am stuck wondering if this can truly be reality. If so, I am baffled. Is that unhealthy? I am completely lost. But me and Obama have one thing in common: hope. The only thing that gives me hope is that maybe I am not alone. Sometimes I come across someone who sees the ridiculousness of it all. And then I feel reenergized.

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