Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Open Your Golden Gates

Why can't I find some good conversation? I've tried almost everything. The strictly platonic craigslist board? No help at all. I'm just desperate for someone who can carry a thread.

It makes me wonder if I'm alone. The only thoughts I've heard/read similar to mine have been on other blogs. Has the intellectual died? I mean come on! I am in the San Francisco Bay Area. Isn't this supposed to be the intellectual capital of the western united states?

I hope it's not. Note to prospective residents: Don't come here looking for intelligent discourse. You will just have crap thrown in your face all day long by the San Francisco pseudo-intellectuals. I am in utter shock by the lack of rationality here. Remember that South Park episode where Kyle's parents move to San Francisco and the neighbors keep sniffing their own farts? It was surprisingly accurate.

Yes we have a higher ratio of Pri'i to people than most other cities. And there happen to be a lot of capital D Democrats. In fact there is even a member of the Green party on the board of supervisors! But if you have ever visited SF you've probably noticed most conversations are just a battle of who can be more hip and liberal. They go as follows:

Pseudo-intellectual fashionista: Hi I'm Aubreyeh Lee Smith-Johnasson-Africa

Pseudo-intellectual # 2: Wow thats so liberal that your parents hyphened their last names!

Pseudo-intellectual: Yeah well they are like, you know, like totally progressive..

Pseudo-intellectual # 2: So I work for a non-profit that helps dying toucans in the congo

Pseudo-intellectual #3 (fashionista): That's like so rad! Animals are like so much more important than humans. I don't wear fur.

Pseudo-intellectual # 2: Totally, like, I think humans are so, like, bad. Haha like Bush haha... He is like so dumb.

Pseudo-intellectual: Thats like.. why I'm like voting for Obama

Pseudo-intellectual # 2: Ew..I'm writing in Karl Marx

Pseudo intellectual # 4: OMG are you guys talking about politics? How can you vote for Marx? he isn't socialist enough...

etc etc etc.... (I could go on and on and on)

"Forever competeing for that one moment of self-aggrandizing glory, in which you hog the intellectual spotlight, holding dominion over the entire shallow, pointless conversation. Oh we're not worthy!"

- Say Anything: Admit It

I am so tired folks...


The Sundance Kid said...

Hahahaha smug alert! I think San Fran is a great city to visit, but as I tell all my friends, I could never live there. I'm pretty liberal, but a lot of other liberals annoy the hell out of me.

Another good pseudo-intellectual fashionista name would be Jade-Rose Honeysuckle Ariannuh Smith-Reinhart

E.A. said...

props on the double-hyphen!

yukichi said...

You know nothing about art or sex that you couldnt read in any trendy New York fashion magazine...
When you walk by a group of "normal" people you chuckle to yourself patting yourself on the back as you scoff. It's the same superiority complex shared by the high school who jocks that made your life a living hell that make you a slave to the competitive capitalistic dogma that you spend every moment of your waking life bitching about.