The Beat Goes On

First it was elementary school.

Verdict: Useful

Then middle school.

Verdict: Shitty

Then High School:

Verdict: Kill me now

And now here I am, I guess you could say in my "college years" and how does it feel...

Well sociology is a bullshit major but it was my favorite class. I loved every second of that class and I miss it nowadays. I feel like I learned a lot that year. Psychology was great. Philosophy was amazing. The music I studied was ok but a little too formulaic. I don't know. I used to love learning more. I've just been in the same situation for so long now that I find it hard to concentrate. There's only so much soul searching a person can do before they need to take a break. I am at that break-point. If learning is a life long journey then I am stopping at a hotel to rest and recharge. At this point I've gravitated towards the less souly, more quantitative subjects and its a nice break from all that thinking. Realizing abstract relationships is easier than confronting relevant ones. I'm burned out. I'm jaded. Wow look at how unique that is... So what do I do? I'm too tired to pursue hedonistic desires, I don't even care enough. And the pleasures of the mind, the intellectual pleasures, they are lost on me for the time being. I just want sleep. I can never fall asleep fast enough. I lay in bed trying to clear my mind but I just end up reflecting on my day. My strategy has been to wait it out. But I could be wrong. I could always be wrong. I've exhausted my supply of enthusiasm in the past 2 years and now I'm paying the price.